Note: Obviously the new 30 Seconds To Mars album (Love Lust Faith + Dreams) made an impact on me. I’ve been toying with this little idea since I’ve heard “The Race” from it a few days ago so here it is. Hope you like it.

Rating/Paring: PG-13, Jared and Shannon Leto

Blood and sacrifice

Jared was lying on the couch, his legs pulled up, his notebook resting against his thighs while he was chewing on the end of his pen. He’s been staring at the blank paper for a while now. The margins were decorated with all kinds of doodles from little blue hearts and nonfigurative stuff to some symbols their band used. He was stuck. Again. The problem wasn’t the lack of ideas or inspiration. On the contrary, his mind and chest were so full of all the thoughts and feelings he wanted to write out of himself and share, but he didn’t know where or how to start… how to choose the right and most expressive words for what he had to say.

He continued chewing on his pen as he moved his legs slightly to the left to be able to take a peek at him. As if he just felt that his little brother set his baby blue eyes at him Shannon looked up from behind his drum kit he’s been adjusting in the last half an hour. Jared returned the short reassuring smile he got from him. Shannon probably knew yet again what was going on in his head. It wouldn’t be the first time. As he went back preparing for some practicing Jared continued watching him while thinking how many things they had lived through since their childhood. Obviously they were close and it was no surprise either that Jared couldn’t imagine his life without his protective big brother.

He admired him. His modesty, his strength, his honesty, the wise calm light in his eyes, the way he saw this world and the fact that there was no other soul who could understand him like Shannon did. He felt himself more than lucky for having such a being look out for him. He knew well that Shanny was a genius who rarely wanted credit for his hard work and achievements. Jared on the other hand somewhere hated this, because people often failed to see what a creative and talented person his brother was. If we don’t count the echelons, their loyal followers and some others who took the time to get to know them better, the world saw Shannon only as the drummer of the band playing in the background. There was nothing wrong with that picture of course, because he truly was an amazing drummer, but Jared wanted everyone to acknowledge his older brother’s hard work not only in this role. This is why he praised him publicly whenever he had the chance. Sometimes explicitly, sometimes only with half-comments or hints.

Now as he watched his brother truly in his element behind his drum, the sticks in his hands, his hat on, earphones in his ears, eyes closed as he concentrated on the music while waiting for his part to come, Jared felt like suffocating from all the emotions that suddenly rushed through him. He knows that there will be a lot of things others won’t know about them or the new album they were working on and it was okay that way, they needed to keep some things to themselves in order not to lose who they were and what they meant to each other. He saw more than enough examples of the opposite where artists tried to live up to every expectations, losing sight of what was really important: their true identity and mission.

The first beats of the drums resonated through Jay, making goose bumps appear on his bare arms and legs as he watched this amazing creature get lost in music – their personal magic that was like air for them. In the next moment without realizing the pen touched the paper and he started writing down the words one after the other, feeling that they will finally make sense after the near artistic chaos in his head. He knew that he would probably rewrite most of the new lyrics before their final version, but he didn’t mind. This was the moment he was waiting for so he let it open him up and carry him away.

“Love is a dangerous game to play. 
Hearts are made for breaking and for pain. 
I'm selfish and I'm cold. 
I promise you I said: 
Never again…”

By: Useless-girl

18/05/2013

Full size HERE.

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