Chapter 15

The next morning, Carla awoke alone in her bed - stiff all over from her fall the previous day, her head throbbing and her leg very sore. It was mid morning judging by the bright sunlight, filtering in through her shutters. Her radio alarm said 11.30, so she had slept soundly for almost twelve hours thanks to the tranquilizers and painkillers.

She rolled over, wincing with the pain that shot through her temple as she moved her head, and saw a glass of water and two painkillers ready to take on the bedside table, plus a little note from Dave: " Call me when you wake - I'm on the couch xxx "

She took the pills and drank the glass of water before she called out to him. He must have been up for a while already, because a smell of cooking wafted into the bedroom with him and he was dressed and clean-shaven.

He opened her shutters half way, letting a gentle light bathe the room, and came to sit on the side of the bed before bending forward to kiss her gently.

" How's my patient? " he smiled " Did you sleep right through? "

" Yes, I must have, thank you Doctor Gahan " she said, smiling and stroking his cheek.
" What time did you wake up, mon amour? "

" Early - with the dawn - I forgot to close your other shutters and the flat was flooded with sunlight at about six. So I've been in here to watch you, then I've been out to get us some yummy breakfast. Are you hungry, sweetheart? "

" Famished! What did you buy, babe? " Carla pulled herself to a sitting position, and rubbed her hands together.

" Just croissants and brioche - and I've made some coffee - do you want it here or do you feel like stretching your legs? "

" Mmmm - I think I'll get up, and see how my leg is healing. Am I very bruised and swollen?"

" Actually no - you took the bump on your forehead, so there's not much flesh to swell up there - but it's a sort of mixture of red and purple around your cut this morning. "

Dave helped her into a warm velvet dressing gown rather than her kimono, and they had a quiet breakfast in the sunny kitchen.

Afterwards, Carla was just holding her cup of tea in her hands and she watched as the sunbeams hit the surface of the table. She was quiet all morning. Her leg stretchedout straight, , her hair unbrushed, but she didn't care.

Dave was watching Carla, but didn't want to disturb her, so he remained silent too. It was a strange moment. He didn't know what was in Carla's head, and nearly couldn't keep himself from asking. Instead he started to pack the things away.

Carla didn't move. She was thinking hard. Her head was awful. It hurt badly. Her leg was stiff and it was throbbing. She looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. Dave wanted to ask something when she said suddenly:

" I must go to work. "

"Are you crazy? " he said, coming over to sit with her. " You were knocked down by a car yesterday and you're far too upset to try and go to work! Be reasonable, babe - do you want me to get your Doctor to come and check you out? I think we should have a second opinion here. "

He had an authoritative tone to his voice that he hoped Carla wouldn't question. But then he became awkward and searched for his words...

" And besides - er - I rang Nathalie this morning for you and said you'd not be in all day - she'll have cancelled all your appointments now, so there's really no point ... " Carla interrupted him with a loud gasp –

" So now you're running my business for me? Well thank you for keeping me in the picture! " She limped off, furious, to her room and slammed the door behind her.

" But sweetheart you were spark out and I couldn't wake you! I tried but you'd taken that stuff, remember? " By now Dave was the other side of the bedroom door, trying the handle. Carla had locked herself in.

"OK - you win - call my Doctor, please " came from inside the room. She sounded wound up, on the verge of tears.

She unlocked the door, but didn't open it for Dave, while he was phoning. She just sat back on the bed in the bathrobe, legs stretched, back supported with her pillow and she nibbled her nails again. She did this very rarely, just when she was feeling down.

The clean, nearly white, sunbeams found their way into this room too. She felt their touch - their warmth - on her naked feet and she turned her head towards the window as she closed her eyes. She had strange thoughts competing with her terrible headache.

She heard Dave looking up the number in her little book by the phone and a few seconds later his voice, explaining to the Doctor what had happened. There was a long silence, which was ended by Dave saying thank you.

His voice now came from outside the bedroom door.

" Sweetheart, he'll be here in half an hour. Please, open up! "

" It's open - you can come in " she said, her voice betraying her fatigue, as did the weary look in her eyes.

Dave tried the door again; when it opened he came straight in and went to Carla's side.

" Hey! You're going to be fine, you know that? But you have to be patient. Give your body and your mind the time they need to heal. OK? "

" I know - I just feel like I've let so many people down! " and she put her arms round his neck and held him close.

" No-one can blame anyone for this - accidents happen. I bet the driver is probably as shaken up as you are! All of a sudden a beautiful woman throws herself at his car! "

" Thank God you're here! My precious Dave " she whispered into his neck. " I would really like to sleep again now - I hope my Doctor isn't late! As soon as he's gone, I'm going back to bed. "

" That's the best thing to do - listen to your body. It knows what it needs to get better. "

" Mmm! Sleep and large doses of ... you! " she chuckled.

They kissed tenderly, stroking each others' cheeks, necks, hair, slow lingering kisses, until Carla started to shiver and Dave got off the bed so she could slip in under the covers.

" Stay warm - I must go and look at the stuff I was doing for lunch - I'll be back soon, OK? " A quick kiss on her forehead and he was gone.

Carla was alone with her dark thoughts again. She felt the depression rising in her. She felt it a long time ago. When her ex left her. She didn't mention it yet that sometimes she saw the world as dark as Dave did. She discovered some medicines and pills belonging to Dave. She knew that he took these mood lifters and antidepressants because of his periodic depression.
But since he’d been with her, she’d never sen him taking them.

The intercom made a sound. The doctor was here, so her thoughts were interrupted.

Her doctor examined her accurately and thoroughly. He found her in good health but diagnosed a light after shock syndrome so he prescribed more tranquillizers for her and stronger sleeping pills. He checked the wound on her leg too. Though it was swollen it seemed to be okay. Dave paid him at the front door, thanked him and shook hands. He went back to the kitchen and the ravioli he was making.

He must have been gone for about fifteen minutes, and when he came back to see Carla with a tray of delicious hand-made ravioli in sauce and found her deep asleep, he cursed himself for not shouting out to her from time to time from the kitchen - oh well, she would taste his ravioli another time. He closed the shutters and covered her up then he went out leaving the door open to eat something himself.



Hours passed and Carla was still sleeping. Dave was still really tense and nervy, so he decided to go out jogging. He hadn't had any time for this lately. It was a good source of relaxation for him. So Dave wrote another note for Carla, then he left the flat.

When Dave returned, the note and the glass of water had not been touched - he took Carla's hand thinking he'd try and wake her gently, so she could eat and drink a little something, but this idea was chased from his head when he felt how cold her hand was .... he tried to stay calm as he felt for her pulse, and untrained as he was, it felt worryingly slow to him.

He decided to call Carla's doctor again - and blurted out what he had discovered. It was while he was still on the line that his eyes strayed to the empty blister packs of his own tranquillizers, strewn over the surface of Carla's chest of drawers -

" Doctor - it's worse than I thought - please hurry! "

The doc hurried indeed, he was there in 15 minutes, took Carla's pulse and did an EKG.

“ Well, Mr. Gahan, we either take her to hospital or we make her vomit now. “

” The latter doctor, the later, please. I can't see how this could happen, she wasn't desperate or anything, I don't think she wanted to commit suicide, maybe she just overdosed herself. ”

“ Yes, probably”, murmured the doc and started to slap her face shouting at her. Carla slowly and with much trouble gained consciousness for a few seconds, then went to sleep again, she was in a stupor. Dave cried out loud and went down on his knees, begging her to wake up.

The doctor let him do what he wanted to do – Dave shook Carla with all his strength and screamed at her in wild panic. The other man mused at how deep their love was : he had never seen anyone so scared, so desperate. There were tears running down David's face and he was crying openly, swallowing hard and begging Carla to awake. At last she did.

She opened her eyes and a mixture of pleasure and pain could be read in them. She saw her love crying for her and she was trying hard now to stay awake and conscious. Because she was awake the doc was able to give her something to make her vomit. She was vomiting in 15 minutes spasm after painful spasm, again and again, till there was nothing left to vomit out. Her doctor gave her some antidotes against the effect of tranquilizers and with Dave he went out of the room.

“ She will be okay, but please take care of her, she needs your love. ”

Dave hugged the Doctor tightly - he said he'd never felt so helpless, and said that he owed Carla's life to his quick reactions.

The Doctor asked if Dave would hold up on his own and suggested that he called someone to share looking after Carla for the next 48 hours. Dave immediately thought of Véro, and told the Doctor that he would take his advice.

When he had gone, Dave went back to see Carla, who was holding her stomach, and making faces, probably from the pain of the spasms that had induced her to vomit, and the bad taste of what she had brought up.

" Hey! So you decided to stay with me after all! " Dave decided to try and make light of the whole thing. " Is it 'cause you had second thoughts about missing my ravioli this morning? "

Carla stretched out her arms to take Dave into them and buried her head in his neck.

" I'm so sorry - I don't know what came over me - please forgive me! I don't even remember what I took exactly! "

" Well it was a potent mixture of my pills and yours, and you went into a sort of hibernation, the sort that lasts forever if someone doesn't get there in time. Listen to me - " and his face became deadly serious, his hands on her shoulders, his eyes boring deep into hers - " don't you ever - do anything like this again, do you hear me? How do you think I felt knowing you hadn't turned to me to talk first? "

“ Sorry David, I am so sorry. I haven't had a straight thought since the accident. Maybe you don't know it yet, but time after time I slip into deep depression, hardly able to see the sun for weeks, just existing in a big grey cloud. Sometimes it strikes hard but goes unnoticed. “

“ I can imagine how bad it is Carla, believe me I know what u are talking about. I suffer from recurrent depressions too, hence the pills in my pocket. But the hope is not gone yet, we’ll fight and combat it together. You and I will reach the stars, I promise. I love you and when I thought I might lose you – God ….“ he bent his head and went all silent.

Neither of them felt hungry, just thirsty for water, so they got ready for bed and just cuddled up to wait for the relief of sleep to come.

Lying there with Carla in his arms, Dave used her cell phone to call Véro.

" Hey Véro it's Dave here - yes THAT Dave, - er - listen, I have a favour to ask you: could you come and see your friend tomorrow? She's not very well, you know, after her accident… yeah there was no time to let you see her before she went off to hospital. Yeah I remember you trying to get through the crowds now - your voice and Justin's .... ... yeah I was, I thought she'd lost consciousness ... uh-huh, two cuts, but no concussion, so she's come home." He kissed Carla and then resumed the conversation.

" She can tell you tomorrow........well it's just that I have some business that can't wait any more to see to tomorrow, and I don't want to leave her alone. ......At 9? Yeah that'd be great. .... ....well she's actually quite sleepy now, so I'll tell her you send your love, OK? If you two start gassing now, she won't feel like sleep any more. .... OK, thanks, Véro - see you at 9 ... yeah, bye, sweetheart. "

" That's sweet of you, mon amour. "

" Not taking any chances with you - you might fall over with that leg of yours. " Dave tried unsuccessfully to mask the real reason for his worry.

" And that means you don't have to search the place for more pills, hm? " Carla rolled over turning her back on him.

" Hey - what is this? You said you were sorry and wouldn't try any more stupid stunts. I believe you! If we can't trust each other... well... " and he left his thought suspended.

" OK, OK! I'm sorry - hey, come here. " and she kissed him, running a hand through his hair. " I love you - I'm so lucky to have you! "

They snuggled down into the bed and were soon sleeping deeply.

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