38. part one

„Jen, baby – I’m all yours and the kids in August. Please, I need to fix some things over there in London. You don’t want me to mull over it for the rest of my life, do you?“
She glances at him with a sceptical look.
„I’m not sure if I should feel relieved that you’re taking Martin with you. Promise me not letting things get out off hand, David. I beg you!“
She softly lets her fingers run through his hair, pulling him closer then and resting her head against his shoulder. He closes his arms tenderly around her waist.
„I’ll really try my best.“
„It’s bugging you for ages – I know. Make an end to it, but don’t start any kind of new drama.“
„I love you, sweetheart.“

The door bell rings. It must be Mart and the limo waiting to drive them to the airport.

***

When Dave turns into the alley that leads to Alan’s mansion the first he and Mart recognize is the blue, flickering lights of an ambulance car and one of the local police.

„What the fuck...?!“
Parking the rented car next to the other vehicles they quickly make it to the main entrance where an officer seems on guard.

„Sirs?“
Martin introduces them and the uniformed man checks their IDs with a stern face.
„Mr. Wilder is not exactly in the condition to entertain guests but he told the doctor that you were expected.“
„What happened?!“
„You better follow me inside and check with the Superintendent.“
When they enter the hallway two paramedics trample down the stairs, followed by another person of police staff, a middle-aged, blonde, short haired female. She addresses them and gestures to follow her to the lounge.

„Mr. Gahan, Mr. Gore? I’m Superintendent Harris. The doctor is still upstairs. Take a seat, please.“
„Could you please finally fill us in? What happened?“
The woman in uniform adjusts herself in the couch chair and looks a little pale.
„Well, apparently Mr. Wilder tried to strangle himself. We’re not sure though if it was a suicide attempt or...errr...an accident.“
She nervously cleans her throat again.
„His housekeeper found him earlier this morning in his bedroom, more or less in the nude.“

Martin can’t help it to smirk inside – though the news shock him a great deal. That police lady definitely is blushing there!
„Jesus Christ! He’s alive, isn’t he?!“
„Yes, he was lucky the leather strings weren’t properly tied and a knot gave way.“
„Leather strings?!“
An odd, cold shower creeps down David’s spine. The Superintendent coughs another time and doesn’t seem to feel really comfortable with the situation.
„Kind of bondage.“
„Ah, OK.“, Martin chimes in. „Shouldn’t a male officer deal with such affairs? I suppose he fixed his testicles and other delicate body parts, too?“
„I’ve seen worse, Mr. Gore.“ She turns a shade of crimson though. „It’s not really my cup of tea and a bit intimate, that’s right – but it’s my job. We’re short of personnel“

This moment another man in civil clothing appears in the doorframe and eyes the sitting group of people. He introduces himself as Dr. Wilkinson.
„He’s asleep now. I’ll check on him in a few this afternoon. For the record, Superintendent Harris – he stated it was accidental, a deviant, sexual practice getting a bit out off hand.“

The addressed woman sighs and takes down a note on her flip board.
„He will have to testify that later in a protocol.“
Dave fixes Mart’s view and it’s obvious they both have the same thoughts running in their minds.
Fooking, stupid bastard!

When the police and phyisician have left the house finally, the housekeeper silently asks if she might take free the rest of the day. They assured her she wouldn’t need her duties and she better get some rest and try to get over the terrible incident.

Martin cautiously presses his ear against the old wood of Alan’s bedroom door, listening.
„He really seems to be asleep. Let’s sneak in.“
Pushing down the handle slowly they peek into the dim lit room, seeing Alan’s pale face resting on a pillow, eyes closed. A strip of white medical tape fixes the tiny, green oxygen tube that’s placed under his nostrils.

The blonde curly man pulls a chair closer next to the bed while the brunette one carefully lets himself sink onto the edge of the metal frame on the other side – staring at the person breathing there regularly. The blanket slipped a bit and gives view onto his neck. Some nasty, deep red and purple marks are carved sort of into the smooth skin. Dave has to swallow hard. He looks over to his friend and sees a wet glistening his his beautiful, green eyes.

„Alan, you stupid idiot!“ It’s just a whisper yet it seems to be bouncing back from every wall. There’s no reaction from the man under the sheets – just the low sound of the oxygen streaming smoothly out of the bottle next to the bed and the in- and exhaling. Mart moves and Dave knows immediately he wanted to touch him.
„No, don’t! Come on, we better leave him at rest.“
Gently he stops Martin in his motion, recognizing his trembling lips. Getting up from the bed he moves around to him and drags him slowly with him to the door.

In the corridor Mart clings to Dave’s body and starts sobbing. David embraces him firmly and whispers into his ear every now and then, trying to console him. When he doesn’t stop shaking he gently ushers him to the guestroom. After having locked the door he and Martin sink onto the comforter.

„Baby, it’s not your fault! Stop crying, please.“
„It just breaks my heart seeing him like this!“
„I know – it doesn’t leave me cold as well, you know.“
He softly brushes through the blonde curls and then wipes some tears away with his thumb.
„I don’t want to sound like an ass but maybe it’s just what he intended to happen.“
„What?!“
„Well, us feeling the way we do now – pity him. Forgetting about all the horrible things.“
He locks view with his lover.
„It’s not going to happen. I might be a forgiver but I’ll never forget. So should you. Let him go. You and I are not responsible for his ways. Bad enough we let him get so close to us. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy a few things but all in all he just dragged our both feelings in the dirt, kicking us with his fucking black boots!“
„You might have a point there, Dave. I’m trying to find answers for way too long. He just knows how to push buttons – not really caring for the consequences.“
His eyes start to change colour and he lifts his left hand to smooth down Dave’s face.
„Make love to me, dark angel. Let me give you all the love I have. Hold me and never let me go again. This place feels so cold and dark – be my light!“

Dave pushes Mart gently onto his back and straddles him on his knees. Bending over his full lips meet his and with his right hand he starts shoving the t-shirt upwards, exposing the soft skin of his tummy. After the garment ended up on the floor he gets rid of his own, short sleeve shirt in one go. Being dragged down by Mart he has to stop and kiss him deeply again.
„Go ahead – I need to feel you on me, Dave!“
Dave’s nimble fingers open the buckle of the black belt with the two rows of studs and then slowly peel down the white jeans that fits Martin so well in every area. Ignoring the growing erection in front of him he unbuttons and unzips himself and lets the trousers slip down onto the ground, next to the bed. Making himself comfortable in his arms the blonde man snuggles close to his partner. Dave can sense his heart beat and has to smile.
This beats for me – just for me.
„Just hold me for a while.“
He breathes against his neck and his warm fingers wander softly up and down his back. Dave escapes a low moan when their hardened members slowly touch while adjusting their positions under the sheets. David had slipped up the blanket over them and now they lay there like to kids cuddled against each other in the night.
„Reminds me when I was little and there was a thunderstorm outside. My sisters came creeping into my bed to cuddle close to be safe.“
„Reading my thoughts again, Curly? Yes, like kids – yet we aren’t that innocent anymore I’m afraid.“
Mart smirks at him.
„Yeah, I bet the thoughts I have about you are just from the opposite spectrum.“
Dave lets out an evil, little chuckle.
„I think I don’t have to elaborate my mind to you.“
„Nope, your body speaks volumes. You should see that devilish glint in your eyes, baby!“
With these words Martin starts scraping down Dave’s neck with his teeth and his hot breath meets his delicate skin around his throat. The guttural sound that emanates his rib cage let’s Mart’s cock throb even more. Quickly he licks over the smooth chest, teasing the little, hard nipples shortly and then wander lower to the belly button.
„God, I adore that V-line of yours! It’s one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen!“
Promptly he follows those obvious paths to the center of unmistakable desire – just stopping close by. The excited gasps he evokes let him grin broadly.

38. part two

„Tell me, what you want. Let me hear what you need...“
A strong, determined hand grabs his platinum blonde curls and urges him back down, his already salivated lips meeting Dave’s yearning hardness. A relieved moan escapes the dark haired man when he feels the soft, hot wetness around him.

This very moment a heartwrenching yell becomes audible – and it’s not one of lust. Mart stalls in his motion and Dave immediately opens his eyes.

„Shit!“
„I definitely forgot about him!“

Both men quickly reach for their clothes. The blonde one is faster and dashes for the door, followed by his lover who’s still zipping up himself. Another yell. Reaching the master bedroom they find Alan struggling with the sheets on the floor, the oxygen bottle dropped to it’s side and the green cable is dangling down Alan’s sweatty chest, parts of the white band aid still sticking to it. Realizing who’s standing in front of him his pupils dilate even more and he starts trembling.

„God, Alan! Let’s get you back in bed! You scared the shits out off us!“

Martin tries not to scowl at him but the anger and frustration is clearly obvious. When he gets Alan at his shoulder and Dave holds his other arm the pale man closes his eyes and sighs – letting them guide him back onto the mattress. When David wants to fix the oxygen tube he brushes his fingers away from his face. With a grunt he turns his face to the side – signalling he didn’t want any sort of attention. Dave closes the oxygen valve and shrugs his shoulders. Martin’s anger gets the best of himself.

„What’s this mess supposed to be?! Looking for the ultimate thrill again? Did you think?! Who told me – no, hammered into my conscience - never to practice such things alone?!“, his former band mate bellows direction bed.
„Shush, Mart – calm down. Look at him.“ Dave nearly whispers now, seeing a lonely tear rolling down along Alan’s chin. For a few moments nobody speaks and the awkwardness of the silence is palpable in the room.

„It wasn’t accidental.“

Martin falls back onto the chair near him. Dave still leans against the wall and swallows, nodding repeatedly.

„You’re an even more stupid bastard than I thought – we thought.“
„David, you never did stupid things in your life, right?“

I should have known this would be backfiring at me!

„I’m sorry, Dave – I just couldn’t stand it any longer. I was aware you wouldn’t be teleported over here. Those two days were just too much to bear.“

Martin lifts his head from his hands again and stares at the broken man on the white linnen.
„Hell, there are lots of your friends in the area! Don’t tell me none of them was available!“
„I needed you – you and David. I don’t expect you to understand this but...“ Alan clears his throat again, „...god, I’m so sorry! Please...please, come over here! I feel so cold, it hurts so much!“
„Did you care if it hurt Hep?! Let’s not talk about Dave and me – but why did you treat her like that?!“

„Curly, it’s enough.“
Dave moves from the wall and walks over to the bed, sitting down next to Alan, waiting for his reaction.
„Dave...“
„I know, Alan, I know.“ He takes the shaking hand that rests on the banket. It’s icy cold. „I should know best how it feels to be that desperate – that’s why you called me.“
„And you didn’t let me down – opposed to me those days.“
The squeeze of his hand gets stronger.
„Dave, I just couldn’t stand it – I should have given you a shake up but I couldn’t! Instead I left you there – knowing that Mart wouldn’t be strong enough to help you out. I really royally fucked it up!“
„It was my decision not to accept help, Alan. I wouldn’t have been able to listen to anyone. I know that meanwhile. There’s no way to reach me cause I didn’t want to be rescued. Yes, I felt so lost and lonely but no power whatsoever would have been able to save me at that point. I only could do that myself.“

David closes his eyes for a short moment and then faces Alan again with his spruce-hazel and now glassy eyes.

„I had to go down that road till the end – though I wish I could have avoided it. The question is: Do you want to take responsibility for your life or do you just need the pain, the thrill, the attention? We can’t tell you what to change in your life – just encourage you to make the first, own steps.“

Martin lets himself sink onto the mattress as well, not having spoken so far – yet all the whirling emotions clearly visible on his troubled face. He moves closer and bends down his head, letting it rest on the duvet. Slowly Alan’s other hand creeps along the cloth and finally his white, long fingers work cautiously through the blonde curls.

„Jesus, what have I done to you...how could I...Martin, please forgive me!“

A buzz at the door downstairs lets them all flinch. Must be the physician for the check. David silently gets up and dashes down the stairs. As expected it’s the doctor. When both men arrive at the entrance of Alan’s bedroom Dave’e eyes widen again. Mart seems to have kicked off his shoes and now curls around the other man, holding the quivering body securely in his arms, whispering softly to him.

„I see you already take good care of him.“ The doctor’s voice is low and silently he places his bag next to the bed.

„Mr. Gore, I need to check on Mr. Wilder now. Would you be so kind to wait a moment outside for privacy reasons?“
„No, they can stay – I don’t want them to leave!“
Alan sounds hoarse and agitated.
„Well, as you wish – but please step back a little.“

The middleaged, grey haired man pulls back the blanket and starts examining his patient.
„Aaaah, oh my goooaaad!“
„Yeah, that sure hurts. It will get a little bit more rough the more blood circulation increases and the painkillers loose their effect. You’re lucky though everything seems still intact. Have you been to the toilet again?“
„Only once. It’s like peeing razorblades.“
„Any blood?“
„Just a little.“
„You need to keep on cooling. Reduction of the swelling is very important. And as much as you might be afraid of it – you have to drink a lot to keep things going.“

He turns to Dave.

„You should have an eye on that. Oh, and I left some more cool pads down in the fridge for him.“
„Sure, will do.“
Some crawlies make it over his back as he finally gets a glimpse on Alan’s private parts. Not much more and he needs to throw up.

„I sheduled a sono for tomorrow afternoon. An ambulance will take you to the hospital. We should be on the safe side.“

After an injection the physician collects his gear and gets up.
„He might sleep for a while again. Here’s my card. You can call me any time just in case.“

After the man has left Dave gets a fresh cool pack and heads back to the other two upstairs. Alan is still awake, yet appears a little desoriented and dizzy now. Martin takes the cool aid from his mate and gently replaces it with the other one. Alan winces and bites his lips. Then Mart crawls back next to him.
„Dave?“
He knows exactly what the other man’s intention is. Not really sure what to do he nervously fiddles with his onyx ring.
„Please! Just as long as he falls asleep.“
Dave takes his time to strip off his boots and then slowly enters the mattress. Alan musters him like a beaten dog, his eyes begging for his comfort. With a deep sigh he finally drapes his arm around Alan’s shoulder and cuddles closer to him, adjusting the sheets. The pale man closes his eyes and lets his head sink against Dave’s chest.
„I know I don’t deserve anything.“
„Alan, once you’ve been on the ground there’s only one direction – up. Take the chance.“

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