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morganalefaye - My heart is an envelope
morganalefaye - My heart is an envelope : Chapter 9

Chapter 9

  2010.05.17. 21:54


[Image: mhiaeillusdavestageshow.jpg]

09.

„If the model doesn’t show up in five minutes we’ll have to start without.“ Josie hates it when people are late. „Who volunteers?“ A murmur and some giggles. Ugh, I nearly forgot we’re in the US. Nudity is something questionable, even in fine arts.
„I’m here.“ She’s too perplexed to retort anything when a naked, tattooed body passes her and takes a position on the low, wooden bench that is covered with a white sheet. Fixing her with his amber-green eyes he adjusts himself slightly. „You’re short of a model I heard.“ He smiles. „How do you need me?“
The students seem not to be too surprised. Apparently most of them haven’t got a clue who’s posing there just in front of them. At least there’s no sign of recognition. He must have been right stating in interviews that he loved New York for being able to move freely, not being recognized and harassed a lot.

„Just take a position that’s comfy with you. Everyone will walk around you and choose the best angle to sketch.“ She’s surprised she answers that calm and professionally. After all this is her domain where she pulls the strings sort of. He lolls a bit and then stays on his side, bracing on his left arm, one leg bent in a 90° angle. He looks like a reclining, greek, male nude – apart from the body art. Josie blushes slightly, her eyes traveling to areas that wouldn’t help to let her think coherent. He’s not aroused in that sense, yet his exhibitionistic tendencies get the best of him.
Why the fuck is he here?! How does he know where I work?! Moreover David now starts to flirt with some of the girls. He’s definitely eye-fucking with a dark haired, curly woman – perhaps in her mid twenties. Shooting her a naughty grin he winks at her neighbour, a thin, tall brunette one. Fucking hell, this is NOT your bloody stage! Josie is so consumed by her anger that it completely escapes her that the well shaped man on the pedestal changed the direction of his view meanwhile. She isn’t even able to concentrate on sketching herself – and this might be a once-in-a-life-time opportunity.

„Ms. Myers?“ She looks up from her sketch book. „It’s time.“ A student has to remind her the seminar is over, how awkward is that supposed to be?! Hastily she starts grabbing her gear, recognizing David still sits on the bench. The students one by one leave the atelier. Finally they’re on their own.
„Aren’t you cold meanwhile?“ Christ, I’m not blabbering this?! He pretends to check the skin of his arms. „Umh, a little.“ He usually is known to be the first complaining about AC or freezy dressing rooms. „Perhaps you should warm me...“, he stops within the sentence seeing her alarmed look, the anger bubbling back to the surface.
„Who do you think you are, barging into my seminar, presenting yourself like a sleazy bugger?!“
„Ooops!“ „I’ll help you ‚oops’!“ Her eyes are dark blue balls of electricity. „It’s unbelievable!“
„I’m sorry for hijacking your class.“ „Fuck! You can’t pop up here like that!“ He gets up, makes it over to the chair where his jeans and stuff pile up and fetches his cigarillos, lighting one.

„Would it have been better at the club?“ „At least then I could have been prepared.“ Her voice tones down a little. „Is that so?“
„Hell, this is real life!“ „It is for a while, Josephine – whether in the club or not. You just don’t want to see it.“ „What do you want? You should be with your family, fixing your marriage, hugging Rosie and taking away her fear of losing you!“ This finally hits home. He turns pale like the sheet. Back at the bench he sinks onto it. „Yes, she poured her heart out to me and it was devastating to hear and see her bitter tears.“ Reaching for another sheet she gets up from her chair and walks over to him, covering his nakedness. „A model immediately covers when the session is over. It’s not decent to forget it. This is not home nor the club.“ He grabs her arm and drags her down to himself. „David, let go!“ „No, don’t lie to yourself. I’ve seen everything in your eyes while I was gaming with the chicks.“ She tries forcefully to free herself but he wrestles her down, his hazel eyes burning her now. Fiercely pressing his lips onto her mouth he urges entry with his tongue, consuming her her. Josie’s still so overwhelmed with the intensity and sudden approach that her senses are reeling. Fingers sneak around her nape, pulling her even closer into the passionate, neverending kiss. With the last bit of resistance she tries to get free, breathless, her lips swollen and buzzing.

„Hell, anyone could bolt in! I will loose my job!“ He doesn’t wait for more and immediately silences her again, rolling over her now and tears at the zipper of her overall. Feeling his full weight on her, his greedy lips everywhere, she finally closes her eyes to gather the last bit of her inner strength. He seems to be all over her with his lips and hands. The overall falls to the hardwood floor with a dull thud and sensing his hard-on against her thigh lets her shiver. „David, please! We can’t do this...“ „Without this?“ He presents a rectangle silver foil packed item he must have sneaked over with his cigarillos and lighter. Lord, he definitely must have planned this! And it’s not what I meant! Pulling the extra sheet over them he winks and smiles. „Hidden well enough?“ Then he tears the foil with his teeth. He seems aware of not giving her more space to think and gets ready with some fast twists. Reaching for her arms he pins her wrists next to her head, ravages her lips again and then swiftly positions himself at her entrance. It’s useless. He won’t listen. He won’t stop now. With a deep grunt his throbbing cock thrusts into her channel. He’s a lot to take and so pain and pleasure pair with every move he makes in her. As much as he tries to take it slow he’s swept away by his lust and ends up pounding into her as deep as possible, panting against her neck and face. „Look at me, Josie, please!“ She barely can decipher his rushed, laboured words. Though she’s not really ready for all this her body started the inevitable answer and with increasing muscle contractions she holds him inside, making him whimper and finally yell out his climax, releasing his hot juices. „Oh god, you’re amazing, baby!“ Out off breath he sinks onto her breasts, calming down slowly. After a few moments he starts kissing her again.

It’s all too much. Tears are forming under her lits, burning there till she can’t hold them back any longer. He realizes the change when his hot kisses taste salty. The next moment she’s free and curls herself up, protecting her head and face with her trembling hands.

„Oh, god! Baby, I didn’t mean to...!“ He tries to remove her hands yet she only holds them tighter. „Piss off! I never want to see you again!“ „I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking! Nothing, I’m afraid.“ „Please, go.“ Her voice is muffled with tears. „I don’t believe you, Josephine. You don’t want me to leave. Who the bloody fuck did this to you?!“ „I can’t...“ Then merciful darkness surrounds her.

***
The smell of coffee tickles her senses. Slowly she opens her heavy lids and after rubbing her eyes she looks confused. She doesn’t know this room! Even more bewildered she is when a pair of olive eyes meets hers. David carries a tray with two steaming mugs and a plate with toast and fruit. Setting it onto the side table to her right, he sits down on the edge of the mattress, mustering her with a sad, serious look.

„Feeling better?“ „Where am I? How did I get here?“ „My place, my supposed to be home. It doesn’t really feel like it though at the moment.“ He bites his beautiful, full lips. „You have no idea how sorry I feel to...to have lost control that awfully yesterday. I took you here after you fainted.“ „But...“ „But it’s the last place I should have brought you to? The den of the lion? I could have driven you to your tiny flat, but I hadn’t got the heart to leave you there within all the horror that must be going on in your mind and soul.“ „You know where I live?“ A little red tige makes it over his cheeks. „I followed you on the way back from the club...and then from your home to the university college.“ „You were stalking me?!“
„Sorry, sort of. Well, I don’t know. Something’s kept telling me all the time I had to protect you. I wasn’t sure what that might be, but now I think it’s from yourself. I somehow must have known from the moment you touched the scars on my wrist.“ He reaches for the coffee. „Here, drink it before it’s cold and awful. I wasn’t sure but I thought you were the milk and sugar type.“ She takes the still hot beverage that has a pleasant hazel-creamy colour. „You’re right.“

The warm liquid wakes not only her taste buds. Slowly her mind starts being less foggy, the caffeine kicking in. „How late is it?“ He checks his watch. „09.50 am.“ „Gosh, I need to be at the next seminar at 11.00!“ „No, you don’t. I called you in sick. The lady at the phone was quite nice. She must have seen me cradling you on the way out.“ „I’ll need a sick note from a physician, or I’ll get fired! It’s not as safe as back in Germany. My insurance doesn’t cover all the costs.“ „Shush, relax. There’s a practice in the building. I’ll call him up. He knows my family. Rosie has been sick before.“ „What shall I tell him? That I’m a nervous wreck?“ „The truth...well enough to help you over the next time. Remember? You’ve been running enough.“ She sighs and takes another sip from her mug. „Fainting is an alarming signal. Stop pretending being stronger than you actually are. I know – says the right person.“ She eyes him and then nods like to herself. He fetched his blackberry meanwhile, dialing.

Fifteen minutes later a mid-aged, slender, short haired-man enters the room, accompanied by David. „Mr. Gahan, please be so nice and wait outside for a while for privacy reasons.“
When he’s through with his inspection and questions he jots something down onto a form. „I advise you to seek for professional psychological support soon. This is the address of a colleague of mine. She’s specialized in traumatology.“ Shit, he didn’t by my ‚I’m just stressed out’ excuse!
The slight smile on the blond man’s face tells her he again read her thoughts. „Mr. Gahan already consulted me before, suspecting there might be something more severe going on with you.“ „He asked you concerning me?“ „Yes, last week. You seemed to have left an impression.“ He takes a pack of tablets out off his bag. „You’re lucky he’s such a smart man. Take 2 of these each morning and night. It’s a light antidepressant. I really advise you to do so. It takes up to six weeks to have it’s full effect. You can discuss any further medication with Dr. Sheridan.“ „I’m not sure if my insurance will cover all this.“ „It’s all taken care of.“ Fuck, he didn’t do that?! He didn’t pick his bloody credit card?!

When the practitioner left the room she has a few moments to gather her thoughts. I’m not mental! How could he talk about me like that?! Deep in her conscience she knows it’s just not like that, yet the constant pain must have a reason she seems to have buried deep, deep inside. Covered it with numerous layers to protect herself. The door opens a crack and she hears his smooth, deep voice. „May I come in?“ „It’s your penthouse.“ He doesn’t pick up the hidden sarcasm and walks over to the window, leaning against the sill. „Will you let me help you at least? Dr. Kinsella already warned me sort of. I really didn’t want to interfere, but...hell, I had to do something!“ „You don’t know me. You have more than enough on your own plate. This just doesn’t make any sense. Especially what happened yesterday in the atelier.“ „Does it not?“ He brushes through his hair, swallowing. Josie stares back at him. „You can’t use me to make yourself feel better, less guilty. Do you always take what you want? Do you always try to bail yourself out with the swish of your credit card? I don’t want your money, David. I don’t need anybody to fuck and then drop me.“ She tries to get up, realizing her circulation seems not up to scratch yet. With a nauseous feeling she sinks back into the pillows, holding her head. „You’re a bloody die-hard, you know that?“ He gives her a lopsided grin. Then his expression changes again. „You go to that club where people go to get touched – close and deep, no responsibilites, no names, no faces. You choose a position you’re never really getting in contact with members, not getting skin on skin...though I’m sure that’s what you need. Every human being needs to be touched to feel complete, to stay sane. What happened that you cut yourself kinda from all this? Why could you let me at least closer?“ She recalls that night when she gave in to his tongue exploring her inner sanctum. Crawlies make it over her skin. She does not know where to look. This is real, all without the cover of a role, all her ‚naked’ self, nothing to hide behind. He doesn’t let her slip away this time, he’s cornered her. „Sorry, I’m doing it again.“ The fear in her eyes seems to hit him hard. He leaves his spot at the window and moves closer to the bed, hesitating a litte and then plunking onto the edge, longing for her left hand and taking it into his slightly bigger one. „I don’t know why, but my heart is like an envelope. You’re already wrapped inside. Don’t be afraid – I didn’t say I’m in love with you. Honestly I have no real idea what I feel, but I DO feel for you.“ He tries to stress his sincerity with the depth of his hazel-spruce eyes. „Rosie said from the start you were special. I couldn’t agree more.“

Her heart does a flip-flop, her mind immediately trying to get in reign again. Enjoying the secure grip of his slim, muscular fingers she closes her lids for a while, not being able to stand the look from David any longer – not to completely fall into pieces. „What shall I do?“

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