Sea of Sin
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Short-stories : Mauka - Seal on my heart

Mauka - Seal on my heart

Mauka  2010.11.05. 23:27

Non-DM fiction, PG-13


- Mauka -

 

Seal On My Heart



Warmth, security and all that comes with it and still you find yourself wandering and running from silence. Let's do it by daylight so that all may see. Let's do it in company so that all may feel what it is to just love.Yesterday I rode the crystal chair to mid station I felt so good to be alive as I watched the beauty of trees in the treacherous weather. I watched the individual snowflakes as they rested on your shoulder. Feel happy here in God's wonder, I feel privileged in God's gift but I also feel sad when I think of the days, when I cannot be still enough to watch him play. Station to station and we didn't even know their names. Hold my hand and let's walk I may not know the way but once we're there well know. Don't run just walk or we may miss it. It can wait, there's no hurry and remember to press save in case we forget why we came.
But how do you know, how can you be so sure that we won't get lost?” I am so unsure, every minute that waits, every second that I'm away from you, but somehow
I know I get this feeling when I'm not afraid that colour fades away and good times come today, today and every day. Meanwhile you could say, close my eyes and turn the other way. I have a better idea, why don't you choose the way today.

We burn. We learn. But only when we are silent from within. Do we really speak clearly?

Waking up, with my life today, 'cause I lost all touch when I went astray and I'm making up, for what I might have lost, on my way.

Three minutes of comfort, like the feeling one gets when you first awaken to the sound of silence, when consciousness gives way to love, and we are free from the labour of reason.

Warmth, security and all of God's embrace yet still I can't seem to find my state of grace, I long to be still, but one touch, one look that's all it takes, these things forever change us.

While you sleep I quietly stare at the curve of your spine, and wonder how many times will I turn out the light, that gives me comfort, the softness of your skin I only know that now, I must live this question and hope that one day when need grows weary I will wake in the gift of clarity.

And so I find myself in the comfort of two lovers, holding on as I try to adjust my breathing, there seems little use in trying? You, lean and dark, whose natural impulse is laughter, I stay here and in return you ask that I may teach you of love and verse. And you, rapturous by nature you offer your wisdom conditional, unsustained, this masculine law. The truth comes out of nowhere but it looks the same. I wanna have it all you know, in every way.

Now! In retrospect it seems that you knew that pain too well. Why did you tried to take your life? You are so beautiful! At first there was much anger and frustration in my heart. It's the easy way out I told myself. The fool's way. I guess that anger comes from having fallen myself in the past, but all the time knowing that suicide must never be an option. Now matter how hard it gets sometimes there is always the possibility that it may change, that you may change someone else as you changed me. You helped me realise that there is so much to live for, so much to do and so little time in which to achieve. Each day as if it were to be your last, each experience met with love's embrace and each moment to be filled with the enthusiasm of simply being alive.

Love, Love, Love is the only way, the pure way, the natural state of all human beings.
Love in the absence of racism, love in the absence of discrimination, love in the absence of war. We are an overwhelming desire to love and coexist in a world where love rules supreme. Everything can be resolved or at least made clearer, if only we were to choose the initial standpoint of love!

So hard to be still, wish I could see it all in every way. Tried to have it all. And I almost did...
Chasing away, feel like I've been chasing nowhere. Going wherever I want, doing whatever I feel, instead of just learning to be still. Come on, won't you tell me how you feel?

You almost made me jump. You almost made me free. I could have died if not for the ride you gave me. You let me drown in your eyes but only for a while. You showed me that I could have it all. Even without anyone else I have it all. The gift of pain.
Don't take it away! If you take away my pain, you take away the chance to grow. Here, take the blade my love and drive it through my heart, but do it gracefully for in my hour in desperate need, I cannot see the sun.

Madness fell upon us. Everytime I laugh out loud I think I've been asleep.

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