Sea of Sin
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Rawiya - I Dont Want Your Love but I Want You Now
Rawiya - I Dont Want Your Love but I Want You Now : 04 - Pick up the reciever

04 - Pick up the reciever

  2011.04.09. 13:34


Pick up the Receiver
By: Rawiya


Martin and I had said goodbye to Nick Rhodes after almost an hour of talking about our respective careers.

While chatting, I managed to forget about John temporarily since it gave me a small sense of personal pleasure that Duran Duran was without a record deal.

‘Fucking pop tarts!’ Got exactly what they deserved in my opinion. The world no longer wanted to hear the wails of talentless Lebon, breaking glasses whenever he struggled to hit a note.

Of course, whilst sitting there, we offered our words of encouragement, letting Nick know that better things were around the corner for Duran if they went on and released an album on their own.

‘Yeah right!’ Who wants to hear them going back to their roots? What roots? The pop tarts did not have anything meaningful to say.

Obviously, no one cared about Red Carpet Massacre, it showed in the sales. It did not matter that they had fucking Justin Timberlake and Timberland helping. God could come down to assist and that would not have helped them get to number one.

As we walked out the pub after shaking hands, Martin caught my arm. The look he had on his face was stern; his right eyebrow was raised.

“Look Dave, since this tour looks to be a dead idea…” he said while putting his hand on his hip.

“Who said that? We’re going to stop this thing jus because Lebon has a problem with me. I want the extra cash. Besides, it’s only a couple of shows, I think I can handle being around him to make a little money. We both have kids yoo know.” I pulled another cigarette out my jacket lighting it.

Martin’s eyes narrowed as he shifted his stance. “Dave, yoo jus want an excuse to be around John Taylor.”

Agreeing, I nodded. “Yes and so. I mean, John and I made a connection back there. He knows it and so do I.”

“Oh listen to yoo being all coy about this. So that is ok with yoo huh? Ar yoo considering my feelings at all?” Martin was jealous; I could not believe what I was hearing.

“Martin, as I told John and Lebon, we deal with our bender feelings while on tour only, it is wot we decided together, remember? Since I made up my mind to not be a party boy and get married, our relationship is relegated to when we travel.” I blew smoke up in the air pretending to be nonchalant when I knew that Martin was more than just a casual fuck to me.

“Yes, yes I know Dave but yoo act as if I shouldn’t have an opinion on wot yor tryin’ to do,” he paused taking a cancer stick out of my pack that was in my pocket. Once he lit it, he continued, “Look, I know yoo want to have a night with John Taylor, who the fuck doesn’t. I jus ask that yoo consider…”

Right then, I felt confused, he just said what was on my mind. Who does not want a chance to spend personal time with John Taylor? Man or Woman, he was and always will be fancied by just about everyone, regardless of the fact he was married with a boyfriend or not.

“Martin, it’s really cute that yoo ar jealous but yoo know me, nothin’ stops me from getting’ wot I want. Right now, I want John Taylor and I will get him. Besides Martin, that doesn’t mean that I don’t care for yoo anymore. We made up our minds that we would only fulfill those desires when we were performing. Now, I really need to get going. There ar things I need to do before Jennifer gets home with the kids. Bye mate.”

Before he could say anything more, I kissed his head and walked away.

“Dave, I still need to talk with yoo, call me if yoo get the chance.” I heard him say as I went to my automobile.

While still smoking, I put my arm up signaling that I had gotten his message. When I arrived at my car, I got in, plopping down in the seat before leaning back.

‘It was cute that he was envious of my longing for the pop tart.’

Out the corner of my eye, I saw Martin drive away. Poor guy; I know I upset him, but I was determined to get John Taylor in bed, even if it were for only one night.

I had lied to Martin about having something to do before my lovely wife stepped in the door. Really, I only wanted some time alone to think of him, John fucking Taylor.

I finished my cigarette, throwing it out the window. Promptly, I reached for the last one putting the fire to it while thinking of that man.

‘Mmm…if only...’ Hopefully, he saw the piece of paper I put in his pocket while grinding myself against him. Moreover, I wanted him to call me.

Call me you beautiful man, let me tell you ways I could make you forget about that Lebon character. Remind you as to why Depeche was and always will be better than Duran; I could actually sing.

I chuckled to myself while putting a hand on the steering wheel.

No, really, that would come later. I want to let you know how much I desired you for all these years. How, I wished that you were in my bed, next to me, holding me for eternity.

It might not have been love, like it was and always will be with Martin; he was my soul mate and I was his.

However, I knew in some ways we had a lot in common, especially since we both nearly died during our drugs days; now clean and sober for over a decade. We have a connection Taylor; I have always known we did.

Pick up the damn phone, talk to me Taylor. Allow me to say naughty things to you. I know you will enjoy it; you are no angel.

If only I had asked for his number as well. I did not have the chance though since he was shoving me back inside the door.

After several minutes, I turned the key to the ignition and started to drive.

                    ~*****~

Once I got home, I sat on my couch lifting yet another cigarette from the new pack I had just bought.

‘I really need to quit.’ I lit it, blowing smoke circles up into the air. Jennifer had told me not to smoke in the fucking house but at that moment, I did not care.

Again, I lay back thinking of him; he was all that was on my mind right now. Not my beautiful wife, not Stella Rose, my daughter, John fucking Taylor.

“Arrgh…” I said aloud while drumming my fingers against my leather couch. I looked at the phone wishing it to ring.

‘Please John, it is not like me to beg, I am too proud a man for that. Call, fucking pick up the phone.’

I took another hit off my cigarette while gazing out the window.

‘Right now, he is probably in bed with that fucker, Lebon.’ That should be me next to him, telling him how I feel, how I want to invade that sweet spot between those slender thighs.

“Mmm…” I closed my eyes dreaming of lying naked next to him, tracing his body with my fingertips.

Placing light kisses on every spot as he calls out my name, running my fingers through that gorgeous head of hair. “Gods John, why on earth could I not let yoo know of my feelings sooner?”
Right when I started to drop my hand down to the growing erection in my slacks, my cell buzzed in my pocket startling me. I lifted it out, looking at the caller ID.

Although it was a number I did not recognize, I pushed the green button anyway.

“Hello?” I said while taking another puff.

Immediately, the sound of his voice invoked a smile from me. “Hello John, nice to hear from yoo. I’m glad that yoo found that slip of paper.

Next chapter

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