Wrong
By: Rawiya

“I know you don’t mean…” he said shoving me slightly.

I took a last puff off my cigarette while trying to gain my balance. “Yeah yoo heard me, the tart Taylor, yeah.”

“Dave, have yoo lost yor mind? That fucker doesn’t like yoo, moreover why on earth would yoo want anything to do with him?”

“Why on earth would I want anything to do with yoo again, besides how did yoo know I was speakin’ of…”

“Didn’t I jus say that Martin told me when I called him earlier before comin’ ova here?”

‘Shit, no…’

Annoyed, I stepped towards the windows, finishing my nicotine stick. “Yoo have no right to come in ‘ere tellin’ me who I should or should not be interested in. Fuck yoo ,alright, get the hell out of my place before I have the billies come get yoo.”

“Dave, that it not the way yoo feel and yoo know it. Damn yoo, how dare yoo even mention the presence of that menace. Wot the fuck Dave…”

I turned around, looking at him, wondering why he had such disdain for my desired lover. I knew that he and Fletch used to always have crude things to say about the tarts but seemingly, Alan had more disgust about John when he called him a menace.

“Uh, Alan, wot is yor issue? Why ar yoo sayin’ such things about…”

“Dave, he was jus such a fuckin’…argh…he jus annoyed me to no end, he was such a conceited ass…”

“Huh, yoo should talk, and beside when yoo look as good as he does, you have a right to be smug.”

“Dave, yoo do not want to be with him. Yoo ar jus talkin’ shit like yoo usually do…”

“Erm, Alan, I have always expressed some feelin’s for the tart, jus not in yor presence. Again, this does not concern yoo anyway. I don’t give a flyin’ rats ass about wot yoo think. I like John a lot, I always have and I will not allow yoo to spoil my chance with him. Fuck yoo for comin’ back into my life, fuck yoo for tryin’ to take ova, and fuck yoo for yor thought on the man I have affections for; I didn’t ask for yor fuckin’ opinion.”

Alan gawked at me, stunned. He could not believe that I displayed such raw emotion against him in the name of John, my desired tart. He deserved it though; after all, he was my former lover, attempting to come back into my life after all these years.

‘How dare he…’

Alan was approaching me at the wrong time, a period in which I wanted to be with someone new, someone that I had always longed for. Alan should have known better to come back into my life after he left in the manner that he did. We would never recover from that and he should have expected that reaction that I just gave.

“Dave, please, jus…no…I came ‘ere because I missed yoo, I want yoo back. There was so much missing from my life when I left yoo and Mart. I love Heb but, she cannot give me wot I truly desire, deep down.”

That moment, my anger grew hotter. I was not caring how Alan said he missed me, how he wanted to bring this thing we used to have back into the forefront.

The relationship, the trois with Martin, was wrong from the start. It was riddled with so much jealousy, so much pain. Moreover, it was done at the height of our drug days, when all of us were fucked up on cocaine and alcohol. There was no real love between three men; that could never exist in the real world.

However, the fantasy realm that the three of us created was brought on by chemicals; lots of them. There was no REAL emotion involved; just a lot of raw lust and sexual energy that perpetuated from the tours.

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. “Alan, again, there is nothin’ to discuss. I will not allow yoo to comeback into my life and try to ruin all that I have. Seemingly, yoo have already done that since Jenn walked in on us sharing a kiss.”

“She’ll get ova it, Dave. She loves yoo, she’ll neva leave yoo. I’ll explain everything…”

“Yeah, right, for all I know you’ll say somethin’ wrong that will jus set her off more. Look, yoo need to leave. The last person I want to see right now is yoo. There is no more us, nothin’ with me, Mart, or yoo; that is past. We ar all mature men who have lives, yoo and I have wives and children…”

Alan leaned to one side, putting all his weight on his right while crossing his arms. “And yet, yoo want to try and get the pop tart into bed…”

“Yeah, so. I have always longed for that. Listen, jus because…”

“Dave, yoo ar barkin’ up the wrong tree; he is in a relationship with LeBum and he is married…”

“Again, and? I don’t give a flyin’ fuck about LeBum or that ragdoll American that he married out of convenience, and again how did yoo…”

“Mart told me,” he said with a smug expression.

‘I really need to get Mart to keep his mouth shut.’

“Yeah well, it don’t matter, I say. Wot I want is wot I want and I can give a shit about what yoo want so...Alan, on that note it is time for yoo to go.” Immediately, I walked over, pushing him towards the door of my bedroom.

Alan was solid, he would not move. Roughly, he yanked me in, forcing his lips on top of mine.

‘Shit…no…’

The feeling of his mouth engulfing mine woke something up down below. Moreover, it brought back the passion I felt inside for this asshole all over again, something I did not want to happen.

“Damnit, Al…mmmhhh…” I breathed as he cupped my slack clad thighs within his palms. My hands found his waist, pinching the sides underneath his t-shirt. Alan always looked good, that I could not deny.

Still, I knew that this was not the right course of action. It was wrong now and always would be the worse decision that I could make. Alan was not someone I desired right now. He was not John Taylor, the man I had fancied for ages. Despite the shit he was spewing, I needed to stop this now.

When we ceased, I looked into his beautiful blues, attempting to pull away. “Alan, I don’t want this, let me go.”

“Dave yoo cannot deny yoo still have feelin’s for me. Besides, yoo don’t need to be with John anyway.”

I yanked myself away. “How do yoo know who I need to be with…”

As we stared at each other, I did not notice the figure standing at the doorway.

“Yeah, yoo don’t, Dave. I won’t let this go on; this is the WRONG course of action.”

‘Oh brother…’

Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved Rawiya

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