Sea of Sin
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Just Jim & U-girl: Home Is Where the Spark Is (series)
Just Jim & U-girl: Home Is Where the Spark Is (series) : 05 - Bonds for Life - part 3 (II.)

05 - Bonds for Life - part 3 (II.)

  2020.04.28. 19:46


Derek’s humor mostly included him being an asshole, and being a troll was one of his enjoyments. Especially when it was with Scott, he was such an easy target, even now years later. There was always this gullible quality to him, despite the confidence he had grown in and this weird zen-like flirtatiousness Derek wasn't sure how to handle when the true alpha was visiting Beacon Hills. He'd comment how the Hale was hot and look at him with that big smile of his, making it hard to avoid saying something in return so he'd grumble something. At least Stiles was into freaking Scott out like that because their sense of humor didn't always line up. Most of the time. Stiles was able to fall over laughing while watching funny animal videos and Derek got more pleasure out of watching people do stupid things like planking and then falling off. Because watching idiots was incredibly satisfactory, one of the reasons he liked watching his mate.

"I can't wait to read through all that you’re trying hiding from me. You cannot do that for long, you know. Have to be prepared and get those ideas of mine going," Stiles continued then ate some more chips, talking while chewing – and spitting small morsels over himself. "And what makes you think that I'd want you to read all the rituals and whatnot in this book? I'm sure there are things here you had no idea my kind can do. I'll be allll exposed to you too," he wiggled his brows from the double talking. Damn, it was difficult not to let his mind circle back to sex when he was practically plastered to the side of the most gorgeous man for Stiles, his scent and warmth invading him. It took some effort to keep the magic calm and not let it get stirred up by his wandering thoughts, but he didn't mind. He was content right where he was.

Smiling to himself, Stiles picked up his own book to continue reading – not that he couldn't continue the conversation like that, too. His mind was good with thinking in different directions at the same time.

As the human sidled up to him, Derek knew why and still kept the book's contents hidden because no, Stiles could read it himself later, no matter how much he tried to get closer. It was a cute attempt, but it wasn't working. However he did appreciate sharing body warmth with him, not because he needed it but because Stiles needed it. And it allowed him to revel in their scent even more, which he loved. What he didn't love was being sprayed by flutters of chips each time there were words being uttered, which was pretty much all the time.

"I'll be reading your book, you can't keep it hidden from me for long." The wagged eyebrows were ignored because no, they were not about to have sex on the couch. His daughter had to sit on the couch, the sheriff had to sit on it. "Read."

Derek wasn't as gifted to be able to hold a conversation while reading so he went back to the book, enjoying the silence falling over them while they were engrossed in the reading material.

"We should both read the books and then discuss what we want to." Maybe. Since not everything he was willing to discuss even though he knew it was going to be asked. Like his ruts. Nobody had ever seen him in one because it had been private back then. He had made sure to not be in town the one or two times a year he had them. The dog jokes had been, still were, a recurring theme, he hadn't felt the need to add oil to the fire. But now that they were mates, it was something to be discussed and unavoidable.

Derek’s frown deepened the more he read, because yes, he should have done more research. It clearly stated that newly bonded mates shouldn't be apart for long or far in the beginning or they'd get sick and lose control. And if Stiles had died, he would have as well. He had endangered his mate.

Stiles only hummed in agreement before he let himself get completely lost in what he was reading, time after time making some small surprised or interested – and even shocked – noises. He was past only one quarter of the book but could already tell that Deaton was right about this being a starting point as it didn't go as deep into things like he would've liked. So he hoped that the vet was going to give them more books to get to the bottom of things. Or teach him during his training, because he could feel that there was a whole new world still mostly hidden from him, waiting to be discovered while growing into his new statuses.

Emissary. Mate. Spark.

It kinda sounded like one of the mantras the wolves liked to use with their young or freshly turned ones to gain control over their urges. It was kinda ironic in Stiles' opinion, but it was also fitting.

"Stop frowning so damn loudly..." Stiles murmured, too lazy and comfortable to even lift his head from Derek's chest. Who would've thought that he'd be good at being a pillow? Okay, Stiles already had some test runs, so he knew... but still. Even so, Derek's thoughts were nearly louder than the heartbeat he could hear under his ear. It was oddly calming and comforting while reading. Its steady rhythm making Stiles' eyes fly across the lines while his mind was processing the new information he was drinking in.

A heated glare was thrown to Stiles when he was told he was frowning too loudly, which was basically the Derek Hale equivalent of sticking his tongue out. It was all he did with it because he was allowed to frown when he wanted to. Especially considering everything he was reading though he was tempted to mock Stiles giving his verbal reactions by copying them, if he had been in the mood. He wasn't.

Instead his attention went back to his book, enjoying the quietness once more while Stiles was a source of solid weight against his chest, his hums and noises sending vibrations through him each time like a comfort.

In Stiles’ book after the historical overview and origins of the druids, there was a whole (shorter) chapter on the Nemeton trees and then in the same chapter the book moved to the druid's/emissary's connection to nature. Standard stuff, really, but when it began listing off what type of abilities and powers they could have, Stiles' interest perked up – he even lifted his head a bit from Derek's warm chest.

"Hey... Did you know there are different types of powers an emissary can have? Apparently each resonates with an element – earth, water, fire, air. And there's a whole sub-chapter on Sparks!!" he gaped, making sure to keep his voice low. Of course, Stiles couldn't wait with his comments until they both finished the books... "Deaton never talked about what a Spark is. I had no idea it's apparently a quite rare and the most powerful kind of emissary, usually gifted with powers that are tied or based on the fire element," he went silent as he realized that he was just confirmed by a book that he had brought more fire into Derek's life. That realization kept him from uttering some inappropriate jokes or comments. Maybe he even felt a bit guilty about it again. Because the irony of it all! It looks the Universe wanted to teach Derek a lesson – how to move past the fire that had traumatized him and been with him ever since it had happened. A Spark Emissary and Mate. Quite the bundle, he had to admit...

For a while they were flipping their pages, Stiles crunching chips while reading because he never could focus on just the one thing alone. Until the soft voice of his mate broke through the silence, almost gleefully informing him of the fact that he was a druid called a Spark whose element was fire. It made Derek pause in his reading to look up, staring at the top of that dark head while he sorted out his own feelings about it. It gave the human the chance to realize what it really meant and some guilt was trickling into the air.

Derek inhaled sharply, fire had been... a problem. After the house and family had burned down, but over the years it had eased and he had been fine with using lighters and blowtorches, he actually enjoyed using those to burn out wolfsbane. He had been fine with fire as long as he was the one wielding it, as long as it hadn't been big but then he had been burned as torture, had felt what his family had felt and it had triggered everything again. It had killed him and now he couldn't even deal with candles anymore. He hated fire, hated the way it made him feel when he was close to it. That mind-numbing fear which would take away all reason and make him lose control. He also hated losing control.

The lava Stiles represented, his magic, it wasn't the same, Derek was okay with that, weirdly. But if Stiles' magic outwardly would show as fire, if fire was going to be an active part of their lives, well, that wasn't good.

With a sigh, simply because of the realization that he couldn't push his fear away anymore, he went back to his book. "I'll learn to deal with it. It'll be fine." Right, because Stiles was going to sense his fear and maybe freak out for putting Derek in that state or feel guilty and it was going to cause even more problems. So fine wasn't even close to what it was going to be like. But eventually, soon hopefully, it was going to be fine. Derek was used to dealing with overwhelming emotions, to swallow them down and focus on going on. And with half his soul gone, it might even numb the fear considerably.

"Right..." Stiles murmured, not convinced at all, because he had felt the subtle way how Derek's whole body tensed up and how long that pause was before his short comment. Not to mention the faint sense of fear, which wasn't coming from Stiles. The last thing he wanted was his mate to fear a part of him. The very core of his being. Because then what was the use of the bonds and their relationship? It'd only raise the inexperienced druid's anxiety levels and fears about his magic. It never manifested like fire before, but as he'll learn more and it'll grow, it might. What if he cannot stop that from happening in the heat of a fight, perhaps? What if it was going to put a wedge between them and would start to deteriorate their bonds? They will have to trust each other completely, without secrets, to be able to maintain the bonds and their relationship... Or at least that's what Stiles thought and was sure they would also read about in these books...

"I'll try to help you with the dealing," Stiles added another promise to his list. He meant to keep this one too for Derek. Everything he did was for Derek... for them, even if the wolf might not realize that yet. Giving up his job, moving back and in with him, trying to learn about magic and control, training to become a worthy emissary and mate. He wanted to be able to protect his mate, Elizabeth, his dad and all the innocents who will surely get caught up in the shit storms that tended to hit this town time after time. He will do it all for Derek, because he...

Derek’s voice brought him back from his reverie. "Why do you think Deaton hadn't encouraged you with magic? Being a Spark, in a town with a supernatural beacon, you'll be like a flame drawing moths. Evil powerful moths. Fire kills them, but even a flame gets blown out at some point."

"I think Deaton didn't encourage or teach me before exactly because of that. Not to become a beacon before I'm ready. He said this much – I wasn't ready for this. But now he doesn't have a choice, I guess, since my Spark was ignited by you and your closeness and the Nemeton and the feelings we have and whatnot," Stiles said quietly, letting himself be distracted by this topic. It was better than on top of everything else starting to dissect what he was doing for, what he was feeling for Derek meant.

Derek was right, though, and Stiles wondered briefly what would take to blow his flame out too. How much would they have to take before that happened? Because even with the training that was ahead, Stiles had no illusion of becoming invincible. Life didn't work like that. Yes, magic will be a useful and powerful asset for them, but he was going to bleed and die just like everyone else, if he wasn't careful. He couldn't let the growing power get to his head. He'll have to be careful for everyone's sake, for a change. He didn't care if he got hurt, but from now on it meant Derek would get hurt too as their lives were deeply tied together.

"I know I'll have to be careful and prepared, but I'm ready and determined to work hard." To make you proud of having me as a mate, he added in his mind. That was both his biggest fear and motivator to learn and evolve. Fear of Derek rejecting him after everything, and a motivator to push himself harder to avoid that and live up to his roles and positions. After all, being the mate and emissary of the Hale pack's alpha still carried more weight in the supernatural world than Derek might think.

There was no way to help him with dealing. If Stiles' element was fire, then that was going to be part of everything and Derek was going to have to accept that and move on. It would be better for him to have one fear less because it was a weakness and he had enough of those already. Stiles had sacrificed enough, he didn't need to give up more just to avoid hurting his feelings. People got over fears all the time so he should be able to as well. It was fine, it was going to be fine. No big deal.

As Stiles just said, Derek was just as much responsible for what had happened. If they hadn't gotten closer, if they hadn't given into their feelings, if he hadn't kissed Stiles out of nowhere, then that Spark wouldn't have been ignited and they wouldn't have been in this mess in the first place. Not that Stiles was a mess but the human deserved more when in a relationship, not giving up everything on top of having so much magic he had to make Derek his familiar because there was too much and it had been killing him. Their feelings suddenly had become less of a priority when their lives were threatened and that wasn't the way to start anything. But they couldn't undo it.

"You're not ready, but Deaton will help you get ready." And the Hale was going to do everything in his power to make it easier, even when he had to choke on his own fear to do it. "I'll help you get ready, and after that we'll move, so we can focus on getting you able to have a normal life without dying on me."

Derek didn't want Stiles spending energy on the loft when he needed it the coming weeks to get the basics done. Of course his training would need longer, he imagined it was going to be a weekly session for the older druid and the younger one to work together.

"Don't worry about money or work for now. I've got it covered." Nor was there much of a pack for Derek to worry about, his focus would be on Stiles and Elizabeth, Cora was capable of taking care of herself, she always had.

His attention went back to the book because part of being ready meant they had to be prepared, do their research. Tomorrow they were going to tell Noah and Elizabeth, rally up more people to help out. His job for now was to be there when Stiles needed to get rid of excess magic or take some of it back. The books were all about basics, but it covered all they needed to know for now.

"You ready to switch yet, Sparky?"

Despite all the worried thoughts he suddenly had crowding his mind, Stiles couldn't help himself from chuckling on how Derek called him. It was a rare thing from Derek Hale to use such endearments. "Nice nickname... And I'm always ready to switch, my Sugar Daddy..." he pushed himself up on his elbow to be able to look at Derek with a smug grin. It did kinda sound like having a sugar daddy now, even if Stiles knew that wasn't the case.

"I have some savings too, you know. Not as much as you, but it'll be enough for a while," he shrugged. "I'm also not planning on dying on you and I expect the same from you too. I'm gonna need you in that normal life even more than in the magical one," the human smiled softer and climbed up on Derek to kiss him briefly, knowing that he didn't like the taste of artificial stuff, but he needed to do that to reassure both of them.

"Alright, let's switch for a while. I'll need to read the 'how to be impartial' thing with a clearer mind anyway. Preferably after a solid seven hours of sleep." Not that it happened to him often. Stiles was happy when he could sleep more than three hours without waking up from a nightmare, so he often went with short naps instead to keep functioning. When he was on a challenging case or problem, he rather chose energy drinks and a slight overdose on his medication to keep him up. But today he completely forgot to take his meds.

On his way to lay back onto his comfortable "pillow," he put his book on Derek's chest and snatched the book from the other man's hand. He was getting excited again from learning more truths about wolf packs. Much more than he could from the internet. It was also easier to focus on the new material than giving into his worries and insecurities that kept nagging him in the back of his mind. The following day was going to be... interesting too as he didn't know how Beth and his dad are going to react. But one step at a time, right?

"That's not sexy talk, you know." Derek protested at the terrible nickname of being a sugar daddy but at least his older age didn't bother him anymore now that Stiles was an adult as well. Still grumbling, he returned the kiss, wanting to object to Stiles using his savings because it wasn't needed but if the situation had been reversed, he wouldn't have wanted to have his mate pay for him either, or at least not for everything. So he kept his mouth shut, wanting it to be equal for them both.

The other book was heavier reading. It covered a lot for Stiles being emissary but Derek wanted to read it too, wanted to know what the human was going to have to be dealing with.

Eventually, a few hours into their switch, Stiles had been unable to keep awake despite his energy boost. It was probably a good thing he had forgotten his meds so he wouldn't still be wide awake. He needed his sleep more than Derek did. Gently and carefully, the wolf took the book away to close it, along with his own.

For a while he was simply sitting there with his mate asleep, pillowed on his lap, watching him take deep even breaths. Maybe these moments were going to make it easier for them to handle. Moments of quietness where they were able to do things normal couples enjoyed, like watching the loved one sleep. Derek didn't bother with even an attempt at sleeping because Elizabeth would be awake in a couple of hours anyways and he was fine with a night of no sleep after the many hours they had slept. He was perfectly content to be here on the couch, the clock ticking the time away from the hallway, the soft snores and puffs of breath from Stiles loud in the silence, the two heartbeats upstairs comforting. It was a moment to cherish and that was exactly what he did.

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